Posted by: beattieblog | October 30, 2007

I know I’m a cliche, but I still love Bono…

I’ve really gotten into 30 Rock on NBC (might be the first comedey in 9 years to be on par with Seinfeld). One of the reasons it’s funny is that the main characters on the show really are caricatured cliches of themselves – especially Jack Donaghy and Tracy Jordan. I realize that in many ways I too exist as a cliche. One could even call mea caricature of myself (gasp!). If I tell you certain truths about myself, you should be able to logically deduce other truths… I’m a 32 year old pale male educated in public schools. I am a Christian of Protestant ilk and have spent time in both mainstream, relatively calm churches (Methodist, Presbyterian…); and even more time in Pentecostal and Charismatic churches (yes, I’ve done laps around a sanctuary during worship times and even prayed for the sick to be healed – right then!). I’ve been a pastor at an urban church and led a church plant (that’s “start-up” in normal-speak) for three years in Seattle. I’ve spent time in recent years as part of the “emerging church” conversation / movement / decon/recon. I’ve even organized events / conferences / missional learning days / non-conferences with folks like Brian McLaren and Jim Wallis. Now if you put all that into the hopper, you should be able to deduce one important truth about me. OK, three – yes, I’ve used clips of the Matrix in my sermons and I believe in white privilege. But more importantly you should be able to say with absolute certainty that I’m a huge Paul Hewson fan. Or as he’s known to all you pretender-fans out there: Bono. Anyone surprised? Didn’t think so. Now, I’ve got all the usual questions for God when I get to heaven – Why did such-and-such have to happen? Why do so many have to suffer? Why couldn’t there have been unbiased referees in the 2005 Superbowl? And finally, why have so many people I know run into Bono but me ? *sigh* I know of two people who aren’t even U2 fans who literally bumped into Bono on the street! The latest, possibly most unjust example will be my sister’s attendance at a small meet-n-greet with the man himself. She’s attending the annual IMPACT(R)2007 conference in Las Vegas put on by Charles Schwab. Bono’s giving his keynote address tomorrow and then will be at a small gathering afterwards that my sister, yes mysister, will attend. Please note: this is the same sister who failed to inform me that Bono was at a local restuarant just 20 minutes away from me because we’d made lunch plans that day and she thought I’d stand her up and go see Bono if she told me. Stand her up? Stand her up?! Yes, I’d stand her up. I’d leave her trapped at a Yanni conceft if it meant a chance to see Bono up close! I’m trying to be big about it, and yes, I’m happy for her. But she needs to know that if I don’t have something autographed by Bono in my hands by the end of the week, all she’s getting for Christmas is an mp3 of my sermon on Colossians 3 with that slimy scene of a naked Keeanu Reeves being “unplugged” from the Matrix. The chance to liberate thyself from old guilt is at hand, oh my sister! Do not fail me!

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Responses

  1. I like the part about leaving the sister stranded at the yanni concert… witty beattie you’re so witty.

  2. hee hee – Love this post.

    For years I tried to meet Bono, to no avail.

    After the Nov. 18 Las Vegas Elevation show, my friend and I went to watch U2’s plane take off. We didn’t realize that they weren’t on the plane yet. Next thing you know, Larry Mullen Jr. is making his way over to us. Several minutes later a very sick Bono came over as well. Totally shocked both of us.

    It was cool for several reasons, but mostly because the friend I was with, is the friend who turned me on to U2 in 1980.

    By the way, Bono hugs are very cool and hey, he even nibbled on my earlobe. *schoolgirl swoon*

    LOL

    Good luck in getting to meet him someday!!

  3. Hey Elizabeth – thanks for stopping by and posting – even if you are one of “them”. 🙂 My sister did in fact stand within 3 feet of the man but was unable to meet him herself, so looks like no Christmas for her. She did bring me a copy of “On the Move”, the text in book form of his National Prayer Breakfast speech. It’s very cool with some of his personal pictures of his first trip to Ethiopia in the ’80s.

  4. Abused sister here…I can assure you that you wouldn’t find me at a Yanni concert to begin with so no need to imagine ditching me there for Bono. And, for the record, I did not mention Bono being at Salty’s because I was specifically told he had been there for a while and appeared to be getting ready to leave. So, in fact, I was actually trying to preserve your feelings like the exceptional big sister that I am so you wouldn’t feel bad that you missed him. How was I to know he would linger over his blackened catfish and guiness?

    Well, I did not technically meet him so the race is still on but was close enough to smell him…very nice indeed!….and look into his eyes. 🙂 He was about 2 feet away but his “handlers” were pretty aggressive about no photos, no authographs. Definitely a lesson on just being “in the moment”. I thought of Caden and how he point out every plane when Bono said that his little boy (John) points at any plane flying overhead and says, “That’s where my daddy works.” All in all, pretty awesome to hang out with him after listening to him speak for an hour and a half (Ryan, you should have the photo by now that I took during the speech from the 4th row.) Glad you liked the book…hold onto it and next time I hang out with Bono I’ll be sure to get it signed. 🙂

  5. Ok, ok – you’re off the hook. You’re more important to me than Bono. But I’d still ditch you TEMPORARILY for a shot to meet the man. 🙂

  6. […] our beloved friends Jason and Sharon (and Bill Gates) for The Swell Season at The Moore. Oh my. Bono has my heart, but Glen and Marketa are fighting him for it after our musical tryst last night. I defy you to […]


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