Posted by: beattieblog | June 24, 2008

Colleen (and others who care about my appearance), forgive me

Much to the chagrin of my beloved friend Colleen, and others who care about how my feet appear, I did something I shouldn’t have today:

I, uh, bought another pair of, um…I laid down some plastic for some hi-tech, unbelievably comfortable and embarrassing resin…I, um, broke the strap on my first so I had to, um – ok I DID IT! I BOUGHT ANOTHER PAIR OF CROCS! I know it was a bad idea, but why oh why if nurses are allowed to wear them am I not? I deserve comfortable, cool (temp-wise) shoes, don’t I? I promise not to wear them anywhere nice for dinner…I promise not to wear them in front of you, Colleen and Luke… 

Look, they’re comfortable, OK? I know they’re uglier than this picture. I know I shouldn’t wear them beyond my property line. I can’t help it, OK? I’ve looked for an alternative that doesn’t cost more than my car, but I can’t find one (suggestions?). I’m not Tom Brady trying to woo Giselle, I’m not a metro-sexual trying to stay on the cutting edge. I’m just a guy with big-ass, flat feet who wants to slip on quick, easy and comfortable sandals and go to the zoo, coffee shop and occasional summer class. Doesn’t that make it OK? Yeah, I know it doesn’t. I just can’t stop.

Here are some humorous Croc-icisms I found on-line:

The only places I would wear crocs is

1. If I was a nurse
2. If I was 5 years old
3. If I wear to take on gardening

none of which I do/am, so…

Love this article. Designer crocs is like polishing a turd. It’s like the designer fanny packs…ugly is ugly I’m sorry.

crocs are HIDEOUS and the new more ‘attractive’ styles look even more embarrassing to wear then the original. and fashion always takes precedence over comfort!!!!!!!

Even Robin GIvhan at the Washington Post got into it when President Bush was seen sporting the same ones I wear – but with black socks and shorts.

So, like the fanny-pack and visor, Crocs seem destined for the retired boating and gardening set. Any alternative suggestions?



  1. dude! I bought crocs that don’t look like ugly ass white man shoes. they are totally normal looking, flip-flops.
    I think your great!

  2. I love it. Welcome to the retired, dorky, George W. Bush set! 😉

  3. So what don’t you like about regular old rubber slippers, as they are called here; flip flops for us whities? Just curious.

    But I say wear whatever the heck you want to wear. You deserve to be comfortable. Who cares (besides Colleen) what they look like? I personally do not wish to see you ever again in the Barbara Bush shoes you wore to Charlie’s 30th costume party. Those did NOT look comfortable and THEY- WERE-UGLY.

    So when you wear Crocs just tell Colleen she should be thankful you’re not wearing the Barbara Bush shoes.

  4. Thanks for your solidarity with my feet and their comfort, Jen. I don’t mind flip flops – it makes me laugh when people criticize crocs and then expose 99.5% of their feet for the world. I have a couple pair – it’s more about how ass-comfortable the crocs are.

    I’m saving the Barbara Bush shoes for a very special event involving you… I think I still have the clip on earrings too.

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